dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
