You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
