even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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