You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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