i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
