i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
