You're completely useless in the revolution.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
