His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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