I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
