there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
