YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
