I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
