no, he came in my armpit
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
