how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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