I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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