Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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