Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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