Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
