make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize
