Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
