I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
