Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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