Fuck appropriateness.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
