i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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