Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
