when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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