I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm passing your future prison.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
