I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
