Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
