why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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