Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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