She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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