in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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