Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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