I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Slut skills are useful in every country.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
