i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
