guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
