somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
