they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
