We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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