He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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