He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
