So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
