So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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