Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
