i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
