I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
