drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
