My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
