I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
