You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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