Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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